O Tate Modern, what have you done?
Removed all the swings
where the children did play
the lovers did flirt
and put in their place
a giant pink turd.
Dr Kellogg openly boasted
his were perfectly firm
and, more often than not,
coming out a yard or more long.
But six metres high, twice that in girth,
just how many cornflakes
would you say?
And that shade, how to get it,
it’s so Peppa Pig!
Rice pudding with beetroot,
blancmange and raw meat,
washed down with damsons in gin?
It’s not a turd, you oaf,
said an angry old man.
They’re Viennese sausages,
can’t you see by the line?
Sausages, I reply, are not my life’s study,
but surely it’s OK for art to be funny?
Provoked by Franz West’s Rosa/Drama, 2001 – on loan from the Pompidou Centre in 2019.